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- Taoism: Bad links happen.
- Confucianism: Confucius say, "Bad links happen."
- Hinduism: Bad links happened before.
- Buddhism: If bad link happens, it isn’t really bad links.
- Judaism: Why do bad links always happen to us?
- Catholicism: Bad links happen because we deserve it (it’s our penance).
- Lutheran: Bad links happen, and good works won’t make them good.
- Calvinism: Bad links are totally depraved and unconditionally elected.
- Presbyterian: We confess that bad links happen.
- Baptist: Bad links happen to those who weren’t baptized as adults by a man at my church. John 4:04
- Anglican: Bad links happen if you don’t accept divorce or homosexuality.
- Methodist: We welcome all links, especially if they can sing.
- Adventist: No bad links happen on Saturdays or October 22.
- Pentecostalism: Bad links happen until you are born again.
- Mormonism: Bad links don’t happen in the afterlife.
- Christian Science: Bad links are in your mind.
- Jehovah’s Witnesses: When bad links happen, they are shunned.
- Unificationism (Moonies): Bad links only happen if they make you happy.
- Non-denominationalism: Can’t all links just get along?
- Televangelism: Send all your money or bad links will happen.
- Islam: If bad links happen, it is the will of Allah.
- Zen: What is the sound of bad links happening?
- Hare Krishna: Bad links happen, rama rama ding ding.
- Zoroastrianism: Some links are good, and some are bad.
- Voodooism: Bad links happen because we didn’t respect the Ghede.
- Rastafari: If we smoke bad links, we can get closer to Haile Selassie.
- Scientology: Do bad links happen? (see page 169)
- Wicca: Bad links happen to be good fertilizer.
- Atheism: Bad links don’t exist.
- Agnosticism: I’m not sure if bad links happen.
- Existentialism: What are bad links anyway?
- Stoicism: Bad links are good for me.
- Nihilism: No bad links!
- Hedonism: There’s nothing like bad links happening.
- Schroedingerism: Bad links do and don’t happen.
- Unitarianism: All links are equal, other links may bring joy and fulfillment.
- Apathism: I don’t care if bad links happen.